MADAM,

I am writing in the hope that Mrs Kirstie Buckland can be persuaded to keep writing letters to the Beacon. Her most recent missive was an absolute classic of her oeuvre, containing all of her hallmarks: a spiteful tone, a personal attack, an inconsistency with a previously stated position and also some total fantasy. I only wish it had been longer and there’d been space for some sarcastically placed inverted commas.

I am sure that writing these letters keeps her happy and possibly even regular, but they are also unfailingly amusing for the reader.

Please keep them coming!

Name and address supplied